What dose it mean to have someone you fully trusted to stab you in the back with out you fully knowing it? and they say that you deserv it? hearing these things make me wonder just how people really see me as, I had lost my father it is why my personality has changed I don't know if I will stay like this or not all I know is that I am truly haeted by the one person who I thought loved me. I guess I was wrong on so meny levels but hey why would you care? the only question that I have for that one person is this "did you ever truely love me?" and if you did then "why exatcily is it my fault?" and if not then "I was just your plaything a toy".

But to be at truth I probably do deserv it but in a way so do you, we are both at fault on how it ended there's no deniying that but saying those things behind my back insted of my face, real nice you know but you don't really give a damn huh? so go ahead say that stuff do what ever you want heck if he truely despises me to such a level why don't he just beat me and shoot in the head!I mean that knid of thing he'd injoy so let him I don't care any more be that way.

I just wonder if he will remember that I was his friend someone that actually cared for him and I still do but now I'm starting to rethink everything about it. should I even bother about it or should I just disaper like dust in the wind.

He was someone I thought understood me
he was someone I thought I could love and that would love me in return
but all I see now when I look at him aand when he looks at me is anger heatred and wanting to have the other gone with lifeless eyes. I wonder will my nighmare come true on how I die.

I shouldn't even think of that but I'm mad so yeah who cares about some 'little' girl's whining about stupid things I mean after all that's all he probably sees me as now anyway so let him.