Hello! I think this is a good start to a story. You know what you want to convey; that is, you know your plot. You know what you want to instill in your readers, and that is fear. The reader can tell straight from the beginning that this is the beginning of a horror novel--you make that clear to your readers in this prologue.

This is what I found as I was reading this piece, and some pointers along the way:

Grammar, Structure, and Paragraphing

First of all (and I know that this has been mentioned before by others), the readers here on deviantArt will be able to read your work easier without a block of text. The easiest way to do this is to put a space between your paragraphs. I cannot stress enough that paragraphing is probably one of the most important things here on deviantArt. Without it, the reader is lead astray by the huge wall of text.

Regarding grammar, I found a lot of run-on sentences scattered throughout the piece. These can easily be corrected by separating the sentences or using semi-colons. I felt that there was also unneeded description in certain places in the piece.

That much was only a guess on her part, the body of a young man lay slumped motionless in the middle of the room, blood was all around him, his face was slashed, an eye was missing and so was his right arm.

This sentence talks about several things at once, so it definitely needs to be separated into sentences. I would personally take the "that much was only a guess on her part" and place it next to the previous sentence, creating a separate paragraph. Then I would separate the rest into three sentences like so:
"The body of a young man lay slumped motionless in the middle of the room. A pool of blood seeped into the floor around him. His face was slashed; an eye was missing and so was his right arm."

A right shoe was missing, as her jeans were ripped in slight places, it wasn't a choice in fashion, her body shook and her teeth chattered out of fear.

The piece about "as her jeans were ripped in slight places, it wasn't a choice in fashion," bugged me quite a bit. It has already been established--you set the scene as somewhere where the main character is lost, alone, and afraid. It is obvious that her ragged appearance is not fun and games, so why repeat it? This is redundant and not needed.

-Something else I found in your writing is that you seem to switch back and forth between tenses. Its best when writing a story to keep to one tense--your default tense seems to be past tense, but you slip into present tense on a couple of occasions: "Heart pounding in her ears" "wanting to take a glance over to where that man is" Since you use past tense during most of the story, I would change these parts to past tense.

Plot and Characters

The plot is pretty well fleshed out here--you give the reader enough information to know what is going on. However, during the middle of the piece details become hazy and I became confused as I read it. Has the man always been there? Did he walk in? It would help if you clarified these things and made it easier for the reader to understand.

The character of the girl is pretty non-descriptive--I have the same problems with my characters as well, so I understand how hard it is to describe them. Is she young? Older? I know that this is just a prologue, so I'm sure there is more description of her later in the novel. But it would be good for the reader to get a little more information on her in the beginning.

For help with descriptions of the horror (blood, gore, etc) I would suggest reading some good horror novels such as these ones (I haven't read these, but I might and it looks like a good resource): [link] To also get a good experience at horror and if you're into gaming, I highly recommend this game: [link]. It's highly realistic and I think would give you some ideas on how to describe the more gruesome scenes to make your story even better.

I hope this critique helps you. If you would like me to help you edit this novel, or critique any of your other chapters, feel free to send me a note. Have a great day!